When I thought about sitting down to work on my blog this week I wasn’t sure how much I would have to say or if I was really inspired to write. I know I mentioned when I was in Dublin, that my posts often change course from what I originally thought I was going to write about, once I sit down and start writing. I feel like this chapter, albeit all over the place, is one of those posts.
I’ve been missing my family a lot lately. I think part of it stems from my frustration that I only get about 75% of the messages everyone sends on our family group text. I am the only one in the family with a Samsung phone in a sea of iPhones and, shocker, even with all the advancements in technology they still don’t seamlessly talk to each other. I think it is also that my sister has been in a season of uncertainty that hit me a little too close to home and it has been really hard to not physically be there for her. Everything is fine and…
I have been missing my friends too. Every time I think about that I think of how grateful I am, to everyone in my life, who makes the time to reach out and even chat on the phone. That closeness I feel from these enduring connections, wherever we are in the world, is priceless. So, I will say I am very thankful for technological advances in that aspect of life.
Yesterday, Dave and I met up with a friend from when I was teaching English in France in 2001-2002. I hadn’t seen him since 2011 and it was fun to reminisce about how different life was back then. I feel like I rarely talked to anyone when I was living in France and when I did I had to buy one of those cards where you had to type in no less than 1000 (only a slight exaggeration) numbers before you could actually call the number you wanted to dial, typically from a pay phone/phone booth. Anyone old enough to remember those? I am acutely aware of what a luxury it is to now have a phone that I can send texts and emails from. Back then, if I wanted to text, I had an old school Nokia where I had to type each number several times to get the letter I wanted, and it took FOREVER! If I wanted to send an email I had to go to the internet cafe and pay to use one of the computers, and good luck if you were in a different country where the keyboard was also different. 😂 It is all about perspective.
We were also talking about how completely unorganized that experience was. I full-on moved to France with only the name and address of the school where I was teaching, Collège Jean-Jacques Rousseau. I had no clue where I was going to live, what I was going to be doing-other than it was in an elementary school, no materials, and I went. To be honest, I was looking for a way to get back to France after I graduated as I had no clue what I was going to do with my French major. It did ultimately lead to me realizing I wanted to be an ESL teacher and, my goodness, what a leap! I feel like my dad had a lot of faith in me and the fact that it would work out, it always does right? I think he was looking for an excuse to get back to France/Europe as well, and I appreciated the fact that he came over with me to make sure I got settled. I also had a very assertive French friend that I met while I was studying abroad (1999-2000) who lived in the area where I was teaching-Thonon les Bains, and he helped me figure out a lot of things, for which I am very grateful. Not all the teachers that I met during that time, who had come from other countries, were as lucky as I was.
Reminiscing with my friend also reminded me of how bad my memory is for some things. Honestly, I always thought I had a really good memory and the details sometime seem to escape me. Obviously that is not true for other things, like the fact that I still know every single word to several songs from my youth. Someone told me once that you have to make room in your brain for new memories/learning, hence forgetting somethings in the process. I am not sure how true that is, and it is a theory. For me, I remember the emotion of my experiences. Which makes sense because now I have a word for what I am, an empath.
I remember when I was living in France, and it still kind of rings true today, that I would always say to myself-I wish I could really realize what I was doing, how amazing the experience was, the incredible things I was seeing and awesome history I was learning about. To take in the incredible friendships I was forming from the bonding that happens when you’re all in the same boat. It makes me think of a quote I read last night from The Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas. “The mix of awe and anger and the realization that the world was large, and beautiful, and sometimes so overwhelming in it’s wonder that it is impossible to drink it down all at once” That is why I try everyday to be intentional about being present and grounded in this adventure.
For those of you who know me, you know how much I love the Minnesota State Fair! The Great Minnesota Get Together, Joy on a Stick, that last one was mine 😉. The fair happens for 12 days leading up to Labor Day. So many people reached out during that time to send me pictures of their pickle pizza, and deep fried pickles (yes I love and miss pickles very much), the beer lines, the music and the seed art. The energy is palpable. If this quote from the Minnesota Star Tribune doesn’t give you an idea of how Minnesotan it is, I don’t know what will. “All told, the fair set five single-day attendance records this year — setting a high-water mark Sunday with 256,015 people and clearing out the supply of Deep-Fried Ranch.” I think that was a new food item this year that I haven’t tried. Our house in Saint Paul is only four blocks from the fair so the neighbors were also messaging me with updates about how exciting selling parking was. It is the only time of year my neighborhood is allowed to let people park on their yards because they close down one side of the street and there is never enough parking for all the attendees. Selling parking is one of the main reason I loved the fair so much because I didn’t have to use my own money to experience it fully. Which is a gift because it is EXPENSIVE! It is $18 just to get into the grounds! I missed being able to go to the fair this year AND I would still choose to be where I am.
This time of year evokes a lot of emotions for me. I mentioned in my post about when I was home in May, even though I consider myself a very aware individual, I was surprised by how much of a stress response the end of the school year brought up, even though I wasn’t teaching. The same thing rings true with the beginning of the school year. Many of my teacher friends began their school year in the past couple weeks and I hope they all have the best year ever. Same goes for everyone’s children! I am sending a universe of love over all of it.
Then I heard about yet another mass school shooting that took place at Apalachee High School in Georgia and it completely annihilated my heart. Students and teachers have a right to feel safe in school. They deserve safety. There is already so much that we are all surviving. The worry of being shot in your school isn’t something that should be added to the list. What a catastrophic way to begin the year. Change NEEDS to happen! There needs to be stricter gun laws. I can’t think of a single reason why any civilian needs and AR style weapon, much less a 14 year old! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
This week also marks the one year anniversary of my friend’s passing. One year. My goodness so much has happened this year. I want to be intentional about remembering her and her passion for teaching, language, life, family and travel. I do feel like I am honoring her memory with what we are doing everyday and I hope to continue to do so.
I’m not going to say too much about what we did our second week in Dungarvan and our first week in Cardiff Wales, where we are til Friday. I’ll share some pictures of the highlights and leave you with this; reach out to the people you love, give them a hug if you are able, tell them you love them and how grateful you are to have them in your life. I love and appreciate you all very much! My community. My circle. Take care of each other. Kindness is free and goes a long way!
